Wow! Three posts in one week... Either I'm not doing my work or whatever...
The thing is I really should be doing my work right now. I'm not even halfway done with an essay and yet I'm writing a blog post (it's due on monday). jeez, I hate procrastinating. but the thing is I've hit the wall. I have no idea what I'm doing for this paper. This is also coming from the fact that I bombed one of my previous papers... argh! Then again looking at the comments for that paper I deserved that grade. Sometimes my writing sucks... but whatever. This is a time to just pick myself up and work even harder.
That's thing how am I supposed to improve if I have no idea what I'm doing? I usually do bounce back pretty well but it usually takes some time for me to get back on the saddle. It seems I've hit the wall with this post as well...
So for filler's sake let's talk about random things...
Weird thing just now, have you ever noticed when drinking cherry coke, if you leave the last few drops in the glass for like a few minutes, it tastes like cinnamon? yeah, think about it.
I think I'm going to try something new with my posts... I'm going to end each one with a random Simpsons quote (yeah, think about it):
Quimby: I give you our 39th president Jimmy Carter!
Spectator 1: ah c'mon!
Spectator 2: He's history's greatest monster!
Thursday 14 January 2010
Wednesday 13 January 2010
Living Life Passionately
First off, I can't believe I didn't say this in my last post but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
I just want to say that I am feeling much better since the time of my last post. Maybe I just needed to write/type things out to let me feel better... On that note this post will be somewhat related to my last post. I want to talk of something that is very important to me, and that point is passion.
I have noticed a few things about the people. But one thing that seemed to perturb me the most is the fact that people here seem to lack passion. When I say that people lack passion, I am not saying that the English are not good at anything, it's just that people don't really seem to have a love of what they are doing. Furthermore, people don't seem to lose themselves in the moment.
Let me illustrate with a few examples. The other day there was some free concert thing with one of the musical groups on campus. While they were technically sound, they lacked a little something to make it a great performance. In my opinion, it's that they were lacking passion. They weren't losing themselves to the music. I hate to say it but it ended up being pretty boring.
So for my major/course, we have to attend a few guest lectures who work at forensics labs and such. Almost all of them seemed very pointless for us to attend. In some aspects it was pointless for us to attend those lectures. However, some of the information and talks were quite interesting. The problem is none of them talked as if they had passion for the work they are doing. It essentially ended up being just a "job" to them. Okay, I can understand that, it is a job, but c'mon! They seem to be forgetting that they are working in a forensics lab. They are helping society find justice. It shouldn't have been a job; it should have been a calling.
What is wrong with these people? I shouldn't really say that because there is nothing wrong with them. I have come to realize that it may partially have to do with the education system in England. Essentially by the time people are 14 or 15 they have to decide what field they want to go into. From then on, their education is "limited" to areas relevant to their proposed career paths. You would think that would make for people really knowledgeable about their subject field/occupation but not really. In my opinion, it seems that people are essentially forced into their studies.
In America, we are given pretty much a well rounded education through high school - we should have classes in math, science, history, literature, etc. we should have a dabble in pretty much all fields. even into college or undergrad educaiton, we take a well rounded approach, with some focus going toward your major. Essentially, it isn't until grad school where your education is limited to your career path (even then there is still some leeway about what electives you take). what I'm trying to say is, the American educational system allows us to essentially find what we love to do or grow into loving. We are given this well rounded approach so that we can choose what we are passionate about. As a matter of fact, during my undergrad years I changed my major some three times eventually settling on anthropology, now I love what I am doing. It's this love that drives us (well me anyway) toward excellence. It's almost like the Japanese, if you are going to do something, do it with your entire spirit, which will lead toward perfection (even if perfection cannot be achieved).
However, this doesn't really explain the lack of passion in the music group. As in love, I like to lose myself in the moment, put myself out on the line. In other words, it seems people are afraid to lose themselves in the moment, afraid to be moved. Why is that? I really have no idea. but then again this applies to everyone really. Every once in a while people should be able to lose themselves in a moment. Granted sometimes people can lose themselves in their work, but what I'm saying is people should lose themselves in something that their passionate about... whatever I'm not making much sense anymore...
I just want to say that I am feeling much better since the time of my last post. Maybe I just needed to write/type things out to let me feel better... On that note this post will be somewhat related to my last post. I want to talk of something that is very important to me, and that point is passion.
I have noticed a few things about the people. But one thing that seemed to perturb me the most is the fact that people here seem to lack passion. When I say that people lack passion, I am not saying that the English are not good at anything, it's just that people don't really seem to have a love of what they are doing. Furthermore, people don't seem to lose themselves in the moment.
Let me illustrate with a few examples. The other day there was some free concert thing with one of the musical groups on campus. While they were technically sound, they lacked a little something to make it a great performance. In my opinion, it's that they were lacking passion. They weren't losing themselves to the music. I hate to say it but it ended up being pretty boring.
So for my major/course, we have to attend a few guest lectures who work at forensics labs and such. Almost all of them seemed very pointless for us to attend. In some aspects it was pointless for us to attend those lectures. However, some of the information and talks were quite interesting. The problem is none of them talked as if they had passion for the work they are doing. It essentially ended up being just a "job" to them. Okay, I can understand that, it is a job, but c'mon! They seem to be forgetting that they are working in a forensics lab. They are helping society find justice. It shouldn't have been a job; it should have been a calling.
What is wrong with these people? I shouldn't really say that because there is nothing wrong with them. I have come to realize that it may partially have to do with the education system in England. Essentially by the time people are 14 or 15 they have to decide what field they want to go into. From then on, their education is "limited" to areas relevant to their proposed career paths. You would think that would make for people really knowledgeable about their subject field/occupation but not really. In my opinion, it seems that people are essentially forced into their studies.
In America, we are given pretty much a well rounded education through high school - we should have classes in math, science, history, literature, etc. we should have a dabble in pretty much all fields. even into college or undergrad educaiton, we take a well rounded approach, with some focus going toward your major. Essentially, it isn't until grad school where your education is limited to your career path (even then there is still some leeway about what electives you take). what I'm trying to say is, the American educational system allows us to essentially find what we love to do or grow into loving. We are given this well rounded approach so that we can choose what we are passionate about. As a matter of fact, during my undergrad years I changed my major some three times eventually settling on anthropology, now I love what I am doing. It's this love that drives us (well me anyway) toward excellence. It's almost like the Japanese, if you are going to do something, do it with your entire spirit, which will lead toward perfection (even if perfection cannot be achieved).
However, this doesn't really explain the lack of passion in the music group. As in love, I like to lose myself in the moment, put myself out on the line. In other words, it seems people are afraid to lose themselves in the moment, afraid to be moved. Why is that? I really have no idea. but then again this applies to everyone really. Every once in a while people should be able to lose themselves in a moment. Granted sometimes people can lose themselves in their work, but what I'm saying is people should lose themselves in something that their passionate about... whatever I'm not making much sense anymore...
Saturday 9 January 2010
Fear of Love
This post was written for a friend who requested that I should update my blog.
So being abroad has allowed me to rethink a lot of the things in life. Well, maybe being in another country didn't make me come up with these revolutions but whatever, I'm coming up with them now. The thing is I'm finding myself to be depressed quite often. I guess it's because I'm quite heartbroken. Let's just say before coming here I fell in love with someone yet it wasn't fully requited. We did date, but she asked if we could put our relationship on hold, at least until we're done with our respective Master's degrees. In other words, we're pretty much broken up. The thing is I really do feel like I'm in love with her, and I did tell her this before we crossed the pond. Frankly, she says that she didn't want to be in the way of me pursuing someone else while I'm here. Why would I want to pursue someone else, when I had everything, all that I wanted?
The truth is I really haven't been able to feel anything for anyone else since. The problem is the whole concept of love. Frankly, I may just love too much. But in the end is that really a bad thing? For me I guess it can be. The thing is, when I fall for someone I tend to fall hard. I put myself out on the line each time. Each time it has ended in heart break for me anyway. I guess it's because I'm also too emotional. I wish I could control this but it's just too hard.
The only thing preventing me from thinking such sad thoughts is my work. However, my work is only a temporary fix. The problem is, forensic archaeology requires me to see and read quite devastating stuff - mutilated bodies, mass graves, genocide, etc. This only sends me down another spiral of depression (albeit one that's a bit easier to handle). Plus, I shouldn't be a recluse just stooped in my room all day everyday. But that's the thing. I'm cooped up in this so-called "studio-apartment." In other words, most of the time I'm isolated, all alone. My mom thought that this would be a good thing for me, allowing me to concentrate on my work. the problem is it just leaves me alone with only my thoughts, which usually go toward the worst lately. Then again my mom never really understood me anyway, but that's another story.
Yes I've made a few friends here, but nobody that I can really talk to. I miss having roommates around, and be able to have conversations hours on end about anything. Now, I'm feeling sad over missing my friends. Jeez it's a never ending cycle!
The thing is, I just feel people nowadays are afraid to love. They're afraid of the potential for heartbreaks, so they would rather avoid or end things early. Or maybe I'm just stupid enough to actually put things on the line and I have only myself to blame for being depressed all the time? Well at least I'm the one doing it! I'm putting myself on the line so others won't have to I guess (that really didn't make much sense). I just wish that it didn't end with the same result each time. But then again this is the first time, it's lasted this long...
I read some wisdom some time ago that said, "Hearts can be broken, but they can also be fixed." I really like that saying, but the problem is I feel i've broken mine so much it's beginning to void the warranty :) sorry bad joke. Maybe I fell into the whole romantic idea of love and really have no idea what love really is? I'll figure it out sooner or later...
Whatever. I should really get back to work...
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